Why is there so much talk about a (stopwatch*)??

Apparently, I once had grand aspirations of being a fanfic writer...

wine.godof@gmail.com — Thu, 15 May 2008 18:59:39 GMT

So. (Ok, I know I begin ever post with "so", sue me.)

So, I was trying to find my old SPN story that I started just because I remember liking the idea even though I have no idea what it's about anymore, and I found like a ton of half started season 1/2 SGA stories that I remember really wanting to write. This includes that random Uni Roommates au that I actually posted parts of and a complete ripoff of SG-1's 100 Days which I actually wrote something like 5000 words of already (and considering my longest story ever is 6000 words, this is saying something). So a part of me really wants to finish some of these, but another part of me is saying, "Oh Chel, you've been out of SGA fandom too long. No one even remembers Season 1/2 (and maybe 3? I don't even remember) anymore much less want to read about that crap. Please move on kthxbye."

Anyone on my flist still into SGA and think I should do these? Or, how about some other stuff that I might write?

View Poll: #1188434

In which I talk a lot about Jensen Ackles' pretty pretty face.

wine.godof@gmail.com — Thu, 15 May 2008 03:55:03 GMT

So a long time ago, I started watching Supernatural and then I got distracted by Torchwood right towards the end of Season 1, but now I'm back baby. After all, there's only so many times you can watch the same clips of Christian and Oliver making out in the gym before you have to move on.

(I lie. I can watch a thirty second clip of Christian and Oliver making out in the gym for hours and hours and still find it great. Thore Schoelermann's dimples > my short attention span.)

Anyways, Jensen Ackles' face is really confusing to me because it is both very very pretty and yet very very masculine. Like, I keep expecting the prettiness to overwhelm my attraction to him, but alas it has not happened. I can't for the life of me think of another pretty but masculine actor either. Gale Harold? Masculine, but I would say more handsome than pretty. Cillian Murphy? Very pretty, but not very masculine. Jensen Ackles defies my male attractiveness categorization.

Also, my mother (after watching one episode of Supernatural after which she got really scared like a little girl) refers to Dean as the good looking one, "something about his mouth" (personally, I say it's his nicely curled eyelashes), even though in general, we totally do not have the kind of relationship where we sit around talking about hot guys. I mean, we have, but not often, especially since when we were watching Brokeback Mountain, she said, "The guy who plays Jack (a.k.a. Jake Gyllenhal) is totally hot," (I'm paraphasing; this was in Chinese) and I said, "No, you mean Ennis," and she was like, "No, I mean Jack. Ennis is not attractive at all." At which point I dismissed her taste in guys as totally dismissal because Heath Ledger, though not my type, is totally hot.

My dad also called Jensen Ackles very good looking so apparently his prettiness enfolds my whole family. Even though everything I've heard about him makes me want to throw explicitly illustrated NC-17 RPS at him. I'm just saying.

So yeah, I'm getting into Supernatural again, and I could really go for some Wincest. I mean, I've read a bit of it here and there, but I'm finding that the Supernatural and Jared/Jensen fandoms are like big sprawling labyrinths with little cliques and like inside jokes and there's like people who are like OMG INCEST SEX ANGST and others who are like "Whatever, Dean and Sam are hot, YAY SEX." And I totally don't know who's who! I just want to read stories where Sam's like "Dean, when I rub myself all over your body, you totally get all hot and bothered. Therefore, let us have hot mansex." And then Dean responds, "OMG SHUT UP BITCH. JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO LOOK AT YOUR PENIS DOES NOT MEAN I AM INTO THAT EWW." And Sam's like, "Yeah, whatever, blowjob y/n?" And Dean's all "YES NOW PLEASE." And then they live happily and sexily ever after.

Basically, I like Dean having non-angsty and ok rather comical heterosexual freakouts over gay incest even though he is totally into it. Is this wrong of me? Does this exist outside of select stories by astolat that I have read over and over? Does anyone on the flist know of anything similar? Or just good SPN stories in general?

(Mind you, normally I would be all about the angsty freakouts except right now, I am in the middle of Season 2 which is all about Dean's "my daddy traded his soul for my life" angst and "my brother might be a psychic killer freak" angst, and it makes me want to go, "Dean, go hit on some chicks and make your cute confused face because let's face it, we are not here for your serious acting skills kthx.")

So yeah, hit me up with some SPN slash please!

*

P.S. I just want to say Thore Schoelermann gets cuter everyday. Seriously, can we please import him to America? I will pay for shipping.

Because I don't actually know any German, a lesson on Chinese instead!

wine.godof@gmail.com — Thu, 08 May 2008 22:43:59 GMT

Today's VL clip has a bit of my current favourite kink which is ~~Thore~~ Christian speaking English! &hearts&hearts&hearts!

Ok, so I think Christian is only officially out to Olli and Judith at this point, but what would make Olivia say that he's straight? Because if I recall correctly, she knows everything that's happened up till just before Olli and Christian officially get together, asked for details about the first time Christian and Olli had sex, and oh yes, was the one who told Olli that Christian was totally into him and he should follow Christian and get him.

And ok, let's assume that somehow she became a totally oblivious person even though she was previously clairvoyant enough to pick up on Olli liking Christian and Christian liking Olli. So ok, she doesn't notice that Oliver and Christian basically stand less than two inches apart whenever possible and are both suddenly no longer angsting over their big gay love. But what amnesia pill did she take that made her forget that a: Christian has had gay sex before and b: was jealous that the guy he had total gay sex with was dancing with another man? Like, has she just not talked to Oliver about Christian at all since Olli and Christian got together and therefore assumed that all gay sex has disappeared.

Oh soap operas, your plot holes, they are so big and unavoidable.

*

So Thore + English (OMG &hearts!) makes me want to mention that my biggest random pet peeve ever is when tv/movies have a very very western language speaking person try to speak mandarin. I mean, I was born in China and lived there till I was six and I speak mandarin and sir, that is not mandarin.

Like the other day, I was forced to watch Firefly and there's this one scene where the captain rambles off something that's supposed to be Chinese and I watched it at least three times and couldn't understand a syllable of what he was trying to say. And just when a character is suppose to be fluent or at least know the language well enough, it really takes me out of the reality of the scene when they just can't do it.

So here's thing thing: Chinese is all about short, concise sounds. Like you know how in English, you can have two distinct sounds in one syllable? Like the word 'well', there's a 'woo' sound and an 'ell' sound but it's just one syllable? Ok, in Chinese that would be two separate words. So for something like 'chen', in English you would have 'ch' + 'ang', but in Chinese it would all be together.

Also, you know how English has a natural rhythm of up and down intonation in a sentence? Not so much in Chinese. Our intonation distinguishes between words. (I could be wrong about this since I know nothing about linguistics, but I did notice that the boyfriend pronounced my name weird because he went down on one of the characters and I would be all, "But it goes up!")

In conclusion, please consider trying Japanese if you need an exotic Asian language for your alternative ratings-friendly words: I am told it is much more pronounceable by those who know nothing of Asian languages.

Excuse me while I have a total girl moment and talk about my hair:

wine.godof@gmail.com — Wed, 07 May 2008 21:15:24 GMT

(<--- Because if anyone makes me want to talk about hair, it's Orli.)

So last week I got a new haircut that puts my hair at basically shoulder length even though after the last time I went shoulder length, I swore that I wouldn't go above boob level ever again. I lied. And literally while I was watching my hairguy remove inches (inches!), I had a very not-mini panic attack and thinking "bad idea, Chel, bad idea".

But now I kind of dig it for some reason. It's fun to shake around. Even though I have official bangs (a fringe, whatever) for the first time since possibly grade school, and no matter how much you tell me it's back, I totally still say it went out with the early nineties. (I disguise this with my still very cool side part.)

So: shorter summer hair cut: the cool sexy funky way to go or guys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses and who can't snottily toss their hair over their shoulders?

Also: change your haircut =/= change your life no matter what television tells us or when I dramatically pause in front of the mirror and then take a pair of scissors/a knife to my long flowing locks, I am a new person?

*

In other tv crush news: Christian's hand's heterosexual freakout of OMG MAN PENIS 12 O'CLOCK and skipping to Oliver's shirt two episodes back was really cute, but that could be because I draw pink hearts around Thore Scholermann's dimples. Also, Jonas 'that Robin Hood dude' (don't know his real name) has a really pretty stubble. Um, and finally, dear AWZ, please please please stop making Roman a creepy villain guy just because Deniz is apparently straight now NO REALLY NO I SWEAR. Like seriously spoilers, WTF? I can't believe I'm saying this but *ahem* Igor is not that pretty. Roman, you have a medal: go flash it at someone shiny!

This is the entry that will make you defriend me.

wine.godof@gmail.com — Mon, 05 May 2008 22:42:07 GMT

(And I'm ok with that.)

I don't really like making this kind of posts because sometimes I have something to say, but most of the time someone has already said it and more eloquently. And because I am generally a lazy sod. But there are some things I believe in (which may or may not come out in what I say) that might on principle make you not want to be friends with me.

You know that saying that says "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it"? That's me. That's something I believe in to the depth of my soul (and I don't even really believe in a soul).

I don't think that anything, no matter how much we find it socially sacred, should have enforceable privileges against any form of non-confrontational defamation (however that is perceived).

That is, if you want to create a community called "The Holocaust Never Happened" or "Homophobia Rocks!" or "Women Should Stay at Home and Obey Their Husbands" and you're not promoting it in my journal and you're not trying to to convert me to your cause if I tell you I'm not interested, then you absolutely have the right to. And I think you have the right to do this without having people tell you how wrong and horrible you are.

Because I think it goes the other way too. I think there's a lot of people who feel this strongly about the 'sacredness' of marriage or actively harassing that transsexual man in choosing to have child. And I feel like I can't say "that's something you shouldn't have the right to do" unless I do same when it's directed at things I don't support.

Ultimately, I just think people should have the right to do whatever makes them happy as long as they are as aware of the potential consequences as possible and they are not directly hurting someone else. And if that makes you unhappy, then I'm sorry, but I don't think that's really something that's my prerogative to change if I don't want to. I don't want to live in a world where if a person's existence or their actions offends the majority than they are going to pressured to conform to what society wants.

I mean, an obvious example: if I am absolutely convinced gay people are the work of the devil and just a total abomination, then I wouldn't want PFLAAG members knocking on my door and telling me how wrong I am, just like if I were me and believe absolutely in equal rights for everyone, I wouldn't want members of the Christian Family Coalition (or whatever they're called) knocking on my door and telling me how gay marriage is destroying America.

And I'm not saying this is necessarily the case of what happened with the HP RPG or the boob project thing (I don't know the details of either), but sometimes I just feel like the PC police is out there and pointing out how this or that is 'wrong'. And mostly, I have no problem with it because I think most of the times, these things are inviting controversy and disagreement (and I personally found both of the above in really poor taste), and unless you make it really clear that you know offensive it could be, you're not here to start an argument, you just want to point out it exists for those who are interested and move on, then everyone's absolutely entitled to tell you to your face how offensive they think you are. (And even if you don't want a debate, people can always start one in other forums elsewhere, but I just think that if your making a mod approved post advertising your controversial idea and you don't want to make an issue out of it, it's just for people who are interested, then you shouldn't have to be subjected to a bombardment of people telling you off just because you made your idea public.)

But if it gets to point where I'm being told how if I condone this then I am so wrong and if you hear about it, you're going to chew me out for it, well this is where we'll have to part ways. I mean, like I said, you absolutely are entitled to say it and believe it, and I'm certainly not going to go to your journal and tell you how completely wrong and disgusting I think that attitude is. And I don't think you're bad person, but I think this just means we value such fundamentally different things that I think we'd only ever make each other upset.

And that's ok. That's what's so amazing about the world, right? That everyone thinks so differently.

And that's something I absolutely support.

I am using a Lee Adama icon because the keywords are "side of the law", and a lot of what he says in that speech captures the spirit of what I believe in.

GGGSOP: Gratuituous Gay German Soap Opera Post!

wine.godof@gmail.com — Thu, 01 May 2008 08:03:34 GMT

01. Firstly, words cannot express how utterly excited I am that gigitrek has written Roman/Deniz. Literally, I just sit here and make high pitched dolphin noises and then the boyfriends asks, "Is this about your gay german soap operas (plural guys, PLURAL) again?"

(The only possible response: "OMG, GAY! GERMAN! SOAP OPERAS! OMG!")

So I wanted Roman/Deniz fanfic so badly that I actually started writing it myself even though it's like all teenage angst. (My canon is a soap opera, IT IS NOT MY FAULT!) And I don't think I ever write stories that I really wanted to read; I just write stories that I enjoy writing if that makes sense. But yeah, I don't think I have wanted this badly to read fanfic about a couple since possibly ever. Brutus/Antony comes close. (I have reread babel's stories so many times it's ridiculous.) Apparently, the only Roman/Deniz fanfic that exist are in German, and why yes, I have googled translated them, and yes, badfic is basically completely unreadable when it's grammatically incomprehensible.

But again I note that gigitrek has promised, PROMISED!, that Roman/Deniz is written and now I'm going to be on the edge of my seat until it is posted. gigitrek = &hearts!

02. I have just spent that past few days watching like the same clips of Christian/Oliver over and over again. I totally lied. I am all about Christian/Oliver! I'll sometimes be doing something, and then suddenly I'll remember a cute and/or angsty Christian/Oliver scene (like that one where Oliver promises no more sex in public places and Christian's all "Mann, nein!" like "Don't be daft, I'm not going to suggest we give that up!" &hearts), and I'll burst out in giggles and have to replay it on my permanently open youtube page.

Also, I confess that Olli's face is a little weird for me, like not ugly but just weirdish. Thore, on the other hand, is on fire sexy (albeit in a pretty way), so much so that he's booted Gareth as my new default icon (despite talks of Captain sandwiches). The quote is from loveyouallwrong's Christian/Oliver primer which is really really funny and made it so that whenever Christian comes on screen, I think, "He is EIN SPORTSSTUDENT!" In caps and everything.

03. So I ended up watching a clip of Luke/Noah only because it's talked about all over the place and I've come to realize that not only does America totally suck in terms of what is allowed to be shown on television, but the Germans also win with the hotness of their gay boys. (Brian Kinney does not count. Brian Kinney surpasses the hotness scale.) Get back to me when you can find someone that smiles as prettily as Igor or Thore.

04. Back to Roman/Deniz for a second: so basically for those who don't know, Deniz was in denial about being gay, then comes out after getting together with Roman, then "discoveries" he has feelings for his female friend Vanessa so he dumps Roman and gets together with her instead. So what really makes the Vanessa/Deniz relationship unbelievable for me is that I think they've really had Deniz come off as gay versus bi. I mean, I think if he did feel some sort of sexual attraction towards women, he would have been better at being in denial about liking men as he's so initially dead set against that idea that he probably would have grabbed onto what he felt for women and not thought anything of it. Like with Christian, he doesn't seem to even consider the possibility of liking men until Olli kisses him whereas for Deniz, sexuality was an issue before Roman ever entered the picture.

And in terms of lust, the way his relationship emerges with Vanessa is out of caring and companionship whereas with Roman, it's from desire. That is, they really play up how (sexually) attracted Deniz was to Roman pretty early on versus Deniz and Vanessa who have always been just friends with no hidden meanings and suddenly, he seems to have developed feelings for her. Like, he seems to realize that he really enjoys being with her, he cares for her a lot (maybe even romantically) but there's just no real sense of HI I WANT HAPPY NEKKID FUN TIME PLZ like with Roman. So in terms of desire, I think he just seems primarily into men, I think it's not there so much with Vanessa, and I think that's problematic if they have him dating her.

(Also, superficial perhaps, but I'm of the opinion that for the majority of cases, you know pretty much right away if you're physically attracted to someone enough that there could potentially be something there. And that pretty much sets the standard for the rest of the relationship. I'm all for personality attractions, but personally, I think that usually means we end up being flirty good friends versus dating.)

05. P.S. So Deniz (and his dad) both wear guy necklaces, but it's ok because it's not at all fugly like Ianto/Gareth's. Plus, we all know Deniz is the toolest of all the tools so it suits him.

Alles Was Zaehlt

wine.godof@gmail.com — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 23:47:36 GMT

Apparently, I too have discovered German Soap Operas, even if it was more of the Roman/Deniz variety (thanks to gigitrek for pointing this out!) than Christian/Oliver. I stayed up too late hopped up on coffee hunting down clips, and then having weird dreams in wannabe German even though I think I know maybe three words of German which are: thanks, welcome and shit. Oh, and geist! And uh, volkswagon? You'd think reading all that Marx and Hegel would have had more of an academic impact on me, but mostly I just remember my ex-roommate shouting 'scheisse' when she was late. 'Ich bin' means 'I am' right?

(The guy who plays Deniz is absurdly sneaky hot. Like at first I was like 'eh', but the more I saw of him, the more I was like 'mmmmm'.)

Also, I've finally watched most of Life on Mars and a: I totally get why everyone was !!!!! about The Master on Doctor Who, I agree!, and b: !!!!! (c: would be that I have great love for Bowie that stems almost entirely from Labyrinth but now also makes an appearance when I start humming 'Is there life on Maaaaars?' in the lifts.)

I can only describe this as 'entirely superficial'.

wine.godof@gmail.com — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 04:06:06 GMT

So I saw some pictures of dear Gareth at Sex, Wales and Anarchy, and I might have *ahem* laughed a lot. A LOT. I mean, I know he did some very sexy things and sung some sexy songs and whatnot, but um, that facial hair is just not working for him. At all. Maybe it would have been ok if it was less 'dodgy random guy that's about to come on to you with a really, really bad pick-up line whilst thinking it's sexy' and more 'off-season actor about to finally be comfortable' (HI JOE FLANIGAN!), but yeah, there was a lot of giggling on my part. I think Gareth's face and I are now officially broken up. Even if he does make up for it with the reading of the gay sex.

In other news, how come I never knew Jamie Bamber was British? He literally went from like prat to SUPER SEXY in like the two seconds it took for me to process that it was his real voice. LEE LEE LEE! You kind of sound a bit like a girl on the show but in real life, you are way cooler!

In other other news, oh Paul Campbell (BILLY!). You and your Very Bad career moves and your completely dorktastic role in Nobody's Watching. So much warm fuzzy feelings!

ETA:

(Speaks for itself, don't it?)

Flavour of the Week: Lee Adama

wine.godof@gmail.com — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 07:40:11 GMT

I'm watching a whole lot of season one BSG lately even though I saw both season one and two awhile back. Let me just say, I liked this show a whole lot better when they were dealing with fleet issues instead of crazy love triangles/rectangles/pentagons or whatever they're on now. Although, the show basically peeked for me with Lee's little speech about how he stands for the law (OMG possibly my favouritest moment in all of television!) with a secondary spike when Tom Zarick (sp?) gives a totally Marxist speech about how money and labour-value are meaningless under the present circumstances and how they have to invent a new way of thinking. Yes! I wish BSG would stop and consider the validity of what he's saying instead of tossing it away in another 'Zarick makes crazy points because he is a power-hungry, media-craving dangerous bastard' moment.

Also, Billy reminds me SO MUCH of Ianto. Now, maybe I am just going through Ianto withdrawal right now but every time Billy comes on screen, my hearts warms up in the way it used to for Mr. Jones and I scream 'Billy!' and tell my boyfriend how much I love him. (The boyfriend's usual response: 'Who's Billy?') I wish there was a good, easily findable Billy/Paul Campbell picture so I can have a Billy icon instead of another Lee icon (possibly because aside from the whole 'side of the law' speech, Lee is kind of whatever for me).

Oh BSG, your awesomeness is still totally appreciated!

In other news, apparently Mr. Lloyd is coming to the states, but nowhere near where I am living. I feel strangely cheated that he's going to be in San Diego which is like my dream place to live and where I am trying really hard to get to. But I feel that way whenever anyone says they're going to San Diego. That should be me hoes!

Finally, I know television likes to make everyone and their grandmother's dogwalker's ex-wife fall in love with/crave the attention of/revolve their life around the main character because well, they're the Main Character and they're Important damnit! but can we seriously cut that shit out? Seriously! I used to like Nancy on Weeds, but if I hear one more person talk about how OMG SHE'S SO HOT, I will freak out. Listen: she's clearly not young and her lips do weird things when she talks and her voice has a monotone annoyance to it if you listen to it for a long time. She's pretty but in a quirky way versus a OMG SEXY MOMMA way so I really can't believe that everyone who meets her suddenly want to give up their whole life because of her pretty eyes. Also, if your kid got my teenage kid pregnant (OMG ON PURPOSE) right before she was about to head off to Princeton, then kicked in a window in my house, then STABBED me, I would do more than punch him once. I would beat the crap out of him, then call the cops, then think about hiring a hitman to take him out. So Nancy, stop making asinine threats when your child is the biggest asshole in the world just because he's your child. I think everyone wanted to punch Silas. You get no sympathy.

Dear flist, where is your dream place to live? As noted, mine is San Diego because I love the weather and I love the Pacific Ocean like I love the phrase 'soft, like snowfall'. Which is hell of a lot.

GIP! (amongst other things...)

wine.godof@gmail.com — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 15:02:10 GMT

Keywords: favourite band: TOOL!

So I was talking to out_there, and then I realized I had no Gareth the Tool icons, only Gareth the Pretty ones. Took care of that, didn't I?*

*

I was walking home from the bank yesterday, and I got this paper-cut that was bleeding quite nicely which spawned a mini-fantasy in which I got my own sci-fi series (this is because I've been watching too much TW/DW/BSG/Firefly) where I got to bare-knuckle fight someone but it would be totally not stage fake and we'd really hit each other.

And then the next day, I'd get interviewed with like a sexy split lip and totally badass bruises on my cheeks and cuts on my hands. It would be so hot! And everyone would be like 'OMG WHAT HAPPENED??' while I get to shrug all nonchalant and be like, 'Got into a fight.'
[/end total narcissism]

Now, the ~~slightly creepy~~ fun! part of this is that this was neither a fame-fantasy or a 'I get my own sci-fi series' fantasy, but rather, a 'I am a badass'-fantasy. Like, yay for casual violence?

But you know, then the bleeding stopped and the sun was shining really brightly and I went back to thinking about paying bills and how it would be so great if I can finally start wearing spring clothes (spring/autumn jackets = win!) and how I can conquer the galaxy in Sins of a Solar Empire.

La la la la, oh brain...

*

ETA: I took this What is my lustsign? quiz thing and I got:

My Lustsign is Fire In The Sky. I am the lost artifact of the gods. I am a brutal sex machine, and i'm scared to kill my partner even when cuddling. My color is red, blood red. When i'm having sex, i bite, scratch, scream, cry, and i don't remember any of them. Fortunate ones, to whom i gave the opportunity to sleep with me are probably still crying "Oh my god!" and trembling with ecstasy.

which literally couldn't be more wrong if it tried. I'm like what Ianto Jones appears to be on the outside in bed: quiet, slightly sarcastic with a nice bit of passion underneath. But no biting, scratching, scream or crying. (Unless you ask me nicely. Then I still won't scream or cry.) But then, I think the lack of capitalized 'I's would probably be a good indication of the quality of that quiz.

*

*All Gak bashing totally in jest! I am in no way trying to start an anti-Gareth revolution! (Even though he's totally a tool. But at least he's our tool? Or alternatively, at least it's really, really mockable! :))

OMG TORCHWOOD (but other stuff too)

wine.godof@gmail.com — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 22:00:01 GMT

La la la la, new layout! Surprisingly, elements I thought would be hard (like putting the header on top of the sidebar) was a lot easier than I expected, but then I spent like a million hours messing with font and spacing and whatnot. And I accidentally deleted the customization for the comments page/archive so :(. But yeah, I've been wanting to do a simple white layout for forever (even if I can't seem to let go of bright blue) so yay!

*

I'm not usually a meme person but I really wanted to do this one:

1. My username is godofwine because it's my favourite song on my favourite album by my favourite band. And because all the other ones I wanted were taken. Ironically, I hate the taste of wine. And beer.

2. My names is little fangirl of love and orneriness! because that's what this journal is all about: random fangirl love and mocking. For the longest time, I had a Fight Club theme going and my name used to be 'I am Jack.' and everything was 'I am Jack's livejournal.' or 'I am Jack's friend's page.' but I finally changed it, and this seemed right.

3. My journal is titled Why is there so much talk about a (stopwatch*)?? because when I finally put up something for bio on the profile page, that was the first thing I thought of as a header. And it fits so well because OMG IANTO JONES! (The * is because my subtitle is: *will also accept: tape measures, in seams, and coffee.)

4. My friends page is called I haven't got (friends) anymore. because it's a Gareth quote that stuck. The way he said it just totally made me *squee* and go &hearts&hearts&hearts because there's nothing I like more than a dry remark said with a straight face. Oh the good ol' days...

My default icon is because it's pretty? I like boys who sing? (Although the keywords are: not here for his music which I thought was appropriately mocking.)

*

I didn't get to watch Torchwood until this morning but OMG!

So I was utterly, utterly spoiled for this and knew about Owen and Tosh's death weeks and weeks ago, and then read all the particulars of what was going to happen some time last week and read all the reaction posts before I saw it and still: oh my god.

Going in, I had this whole entry planned out about how I've been getting away from Torchwood for the last two weeks and how I've never felt very strongly (even though I liked both charactesr) about either for them so that's why I was that affected by it (versus jumping for joy if it were Gwen or raging against the PTB if it were Ianto or Jack).

And I was completely fine and nonchalant until Tosh said 'You're breaking my heart.' And I just completely broke down right there. Like, no joke, I went from picking my nails to crying in one sentence.

Whoever said they killed off the two best actors on the series: word. I think Eve whatever can act alright but it's all overly emotional in a soap-opera-y way that I can't appreciate. And I mean, this could just be her character, but I've yet to see her really nail something in the subtle way that the actress who plays Tosh completely did with that one line. (And also every other time she had to carry a scene, but specifically that time.) And I think both her and Burn make you believe in the reality of their characters no matter which side they're showing. So props.

The Barrowman was actually not bad this episode. I thought his reaction to Tosh's death was much better done than Gwen's so yay! I wished I had something to say about Ianto but my reaction to him was mainly: my boy still kicks ass!

With that said, Series 3 guys, if the spoilers are true (la la highlight) I'm going to be really blah about it. I know everyone's all Yay Martha! but I thought she was very whatever on Doctor Who (and made me really appreciate Rose like I never did before) and I kind of felt the same on Torchwood. But then, everyone also wants Ianto to be BFF with her and Gwen, and I want Ianto to be BFF solely with the expresso machine (AND THE STOPWATCH!) so. I'm like Mistress Mary: quite contrary.

Also, Mickey always came off as kind of a dim frat boy type character to me so I really don't want to see him on Torchwood even if he's suppose to be some kind of computer techie. Like, I just don't believe it, you know? I think in general, I liked how Gwen, Owen and Tosh were all around late twenties/early thirties and only Ianto was early twenties so it gave the show a more experienced feel. Versus like a bunch of twenty year olds running old chasing aliens and you just kind of don't really believe that they actually should know anything. Like I would trust a mid-aged doctor much more than someone that just got done with their residency so like when Martha did the technobabble, I kind of went *coughmarysue*. So I think if this new change is true, the age change at least will make me wrinkle my nose.

Oh, and this is the first time I really saw the Jack/John. As in wanted it to happen. I forgotten how well James Marsters can really carry emotional subtly. I really wanted to see the scene where Jack goes to John: ok, since you helped save the world and everything, you can watch Ianto fuck me into oblivion. :)

In conclusion: oh Owen. Oh Tosh.

wine.godof@gmail.com — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 22:27:50 GMT

Ganked from sarkastic:

Empire Magazine's top 50 shows of all time: Bold if you've seen every episode, italicize if you've seen at least one. I'm also going to * the ones that I really, really want to see.

50. Quantum Leap
49. Prison Break
48. Veronica Mars
47. Star Trek: Deep Space Nine [I think so. I don't know the franchise enough to know which is spinoff is which but I think I've caught at least an episode of all of them.]
46. Sex & The City
45. Farscape
44. Cracker
43. Star Trek
42. Only Fools and Horses
41. Band of Brothers
40. Life on Mars*
39. Monty Python's Flying Circus
38. Curb Your Enthusiasm
37. Star Trek: The Next Generation
36. Father Ted
35. Alias
34. Frasier
33. CSI: Las Vegas
32. Babylon 5
31. Deadwood*
30. Dexter*
29. ER
28. Fawlty Towers
27. Six Feet Under [might have seen all, don't recall]
26. Red Dwarf
25. Futurama
24. Twin Peaks*
23. The Office UK
22. The Shield
21. Angel
20. Blackadder
19. Scrubs
18. Arrested Development
17. South Park
16. Doctor Who (new version)
15. Heroes
14. Firefly [if you count half of one episode and a good portion of the movie]
13. Battlestar Galactica [need to catch up on this so much]
12. Family Guy
11. Seinfeld
10. Spaced*
09. The X-Files
08. The Wire
07. Friends
06. 24
05. Lost
04. The West Wing
03. The Sopranos
02. Buffy the Vampire Slayer
01. The Simpsons

So um, I disagree with this list like a lot. More than a lot. I think it's biased towards more cult-ish shows (and Joss Whedon), which I think would cause a lot of people to disagree with the ordering.

(Angel is one of the best shows of all time? Really? REALLY?)

Shows I think should be included: Rome, Weeds, Due South, Grey's Anatomy and random others before a lot (A LOT) of those. OZ! Oz should totally be on there. 30 Rock as well. Dead Like Me. Law and Order. Coupling even. OMG HOUSE!

And this isn't even based solely on personal preference. You'll notice no mention of Torchwood because I think Torchwood is a good show, my favourite show right now, but you don't watch it in amazement at it's quality. And I think the ways that I think it's a good show is not necessarily the reasons that other people think it's a good show. Also, I think it needs a bit more polish, and, how should I say this, better acting before it's up there for me.

So yeah Empire, sorry you fail in my book. But points for Red Dwarf. That was a neat show.

noel fielding can be my ugly girlfriend!

wine.godof@gmail.com — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 18:15:56 GMT

So I was spring breaking and my laptop broke, and for days I was without gmail and youtube after 11 when my parents went to bed in the room with the computer that allows such things. Woe!

(You can only fully appreciate this tragedy if you, like me, have just discovered The Mighty Boosh and then had it prematurely stripped away from you by your mother's laptop's company proxy. I consoled myself by reading lots of stories about Ianto's oh-so-delicate ~~spleen~~ heart instead.)

*

Noel Fielding is possibly my favouritest person in fake life! I'd really like to keep him in my pocket for side commentary of everything that's happening. That would make life filled with 100x more rainbows! Simon Amstell can come too though he would probably lower the rainbow factor.

(Simon is probably going to take my last icon spot before I start chucking Gareth icons. I've never run out of space before. It almost makes me feel nostalgic for the good ol' days when I got the extra icons package and could fill the web with John Sheppard's pretty hair.)

*

The boyfriend is trying to convince me to watch Firefly by saying it's just like Torchwood but with better plot. Then I informed him I hate plot and only watch Torchwood for the boykissing (and Ianto Jones!), but he ignored me and kept talking about companions and shepherds. Which just made me think about Firefly as a Doctor Who/SGA crossover.

He's also into The Sarah Connor Chronicles now, which makes him officially more in touch with my friendslist than me.

*

I accidentally gained like five pounds of fat some time last quarter and am now vowing to not eat like boys ever again. And possibly exercise. Maybe. Is this how the bitter end of teenage metabolism comes? With non-fat lattes?

I'm also very seriously considering getting either a shag haircut or just doing it rather short. I've got boring straight Asian hair and I feel like I aught to do something cooler if I'm going to sit about and make fun of other people's fashion choices. (Btw, that necklace is still fugly.)

*

I'm seeing Nada Surf on Friday which is going to be my first concert in absolutely forever.

*

Dear flist, if you were a colour, what colour would you be? I am of course cobalt blue even though my favourite colour is green.

Let's have a gay-off!

wine.godof@gmail.com — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 03:34:49 GMT

Dear Britain,

You win at life!

Love and kisses,
Chel

Seriously, I am watching Never Mind the Buzzcocks and it is totally the funniest thing I have ever seen. My parents thought I've gone mad. (And I felt ultra proud of myself for at least getting both the Sex Pistols and the Buzzcocks reference even though I have no idea about any of the other bands/people on the show.) Simon Amstell > Gareth David-Lloyd, y/n? ('You know everything? I like it!' &hearts)

I am thinking about the wiseness of only following British shows from now on because they are clearly more likely to make me point and go 'OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE HE SAID THAT!' and die in a fit of *squee*. The only problem with that (besides that I live in America) is of course I don't know any British shows besides Torchwood (&hearts) and Doctor Who (I watch, but I'm not in love). I have no idea what Skins is about except that the guy in it was not very fun and oh so young. On the other hand, the guy from Robin Hood was tres amusing so that's an option.

So anyone on the flist know anything good? Provided it's something I can actually get my hands on of course.

Eta: I was watching an old episode of Buzzcocks and then a preview of Countrycide came on. WIN!

Ianto's Pimp Chain: Fugly or the Fugliest Thing Ever

wine.godof@gmail.com — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:58:35 GMT

So it has come to my attention that some people actually find Ianto's REALLY REALLY FUGLY necklace attractive. *Ahem* Yeah, no. The neck: very very lickable! The casual clothing ensemble: tres hot! The open shirt complete with little peeks at his chest hairs: mmm yum!

The necklace however can only be described as FUGLY.

But, in the fairness of trusting the internet has good taste, I present a poll:

This is going to be hard to do but ignore the prettiness of everything else and concentrate on the COMPLETELY FUGLY necklace. (Sorry, the cap is crappy but I trust everyone remembers this scene well.) Now remember Ianto's pretty pretty BARE neck.

Now answer this poll:

View Poll: #1160954

ETA: I don't know why I misspelled 'immerse' with an e. I wish you can edit polls. I BLAME IT ON THE POWER OF THE FUGLY!

Love taught me to lie.

wine.godof@gmail.com — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 07:22:05 GMT

I did observe the no-posting thing on Friday though more in support of the fact that I don't like the whole removal of basic accounts than as an actual protest. That is, I'm simply saying 'I don't like this', I'm not expecting to change any policies or get in a fight with Six Apart (or whatever they're called) and I don't know anything about the anti-Jewish/anti-Russian associations that have been floating around (though I don't think the original idea at least had anything to do with that). In all, I don't really think it's a big deal if you did or didn't post. :)

So with that said, OMG NEW TORCHWOOD, POSSIBLY MY FAVOURITE EPISODE EVER (which kind of tells you what my priorities are in shows). Previously, my favourite was definitely "They Keep Killing Suzie" though "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang" was definitely up there as well.

Firstly, I'd just like to say that Gareth as Ianto as Gareth is possibly my most favourite thing ever! Seriously, I love how Gareth might as well be wearing his own clothes (complete with that fugly necklace) in style but it's just I don't know, more fitted, less rumpled, less scruffy as Ianto. And it looks good.

Also, Ianto wears a suit all the time because it makes Jack ~~horny~~ happy? How is that in any way not made of win?

This might be a weird thing to fixate on but I loved Gareth's expression when he throws away the stick. It made me giggle and go &hearts&hearts&hearts!

Also, the return of my favourite OTP of all time! Dear Universe, this is how I would like to be greeted first thing in the morning please, kthxbye.

And this is how he seduces Jack!

So Ianto + Gareth's Clothes + Really Nice Black Jacket + Top Buttons Undone + Chest Hair + OMG COFFEE cup - Necklace (blah) + Pier = The Prettiest Thing in the Universe!

Add in Jack's presence and the flirting in the end makes this the perfect scene for me. If the writers had asked what I would like to see most in a scene, this pretty much sums it up.

Also, the Ianto backstory here makes me really, really want to write the Ianto backstory fic that I kind of started before this episode. I think this isn't the canon that I was exactly expecting, but it's canon that makes me love Ianto so much more. Like, I see him as this sort of lost individual (kind of like Rose pre-Doctor0 who's drifting through life and settles into Torchwood. I think of Torchwood as the place that makes him seem straight-laced with his suits and his cleaning and his knowledge of everything, but I like to think that he wasn't always this put together.

This episode definitely just made Ianto for me if that makes sense.

Also, someone said that The Barrowman says in his autobiography that he hates it when people touch his neck, and now I giggle every time Gareth reaches for it. And it happens a lot too!

It's kind of weird, but I never really actively noticed the age difference between Ianto and Jack before until this scene where I kind of thought: wow, Jack you are robbing the cradle so hard. (But it's still hot!)

And when Ianto grabs Jack by the shoulder and stops him, that was definitely all &hearts.

I just want to say, this was like the most subtle rain ever because I did not notice it at all until I rewatched to do the screencaps. Yes! Gareth in the rain again!

Ianto's ninja moves in action! (Hi, I'm five.)

Also, if you look at this sequence of caps out of context, it is very amusing. I giggled! :D (Yep, still five.)

(Oh the captions you can come up with, both clean and oh so dirty...)

Hehe, and this is also a nice out of context moment! (Yeah, had to grow up to maybe ten for this one. ;))

I'd like to think of this as canon proof that Ianto also tops.

Again, probably just me, but I found the shot of Jack still lying on the floor whilst Ianto got up and left just incredibly sad. There is a dark emo angst fic out there somewhere about this!

And you know, after all that, the Ianto flashback ended with this which I thought was immensely telling:

Just, in like a few seconds, it complicates Ianto's character so much.

I mean, Ianto's storyline was definitely my favourite for obvious reasons but also because it was more subtle, more wrought with meaning than the others. There were just so many layers underneath all the stalking and flirting that only Ianto and the viewer knows about. And just everything it said about Ianto's character, I hadn't expected but yet I loved so so much.

But with that said, I liked all the other 'coming to Torchwood' stories quite a bit as well! I wish I had more to say about them because I like Tosh and Owen, but usually there's only one or two characters that grab my attention and I sort of tune everyone else out. So I was really pleasantly surprised that I got into their stories so much. I think this episode really did a great job in drawing you into all the characters' lives. I kind of felt that Jack's bit was the weakest because it seemed more like exposition than the others which I thought focused more on character development.

Seriously though, this episode was like good fanfic, like Four Ways Loss Brings You to Torchwood and One Way It Let's You Survive or something. Just yeah, definitely my favourite. I cannot express my glee over this!

And as always, Gareth's face, it is pretty (if a big bloody)!

There's no wood like Torchwood! ;)

wine.godof@gmail.com — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 17:42:09 GMT

OMG HI SEXY NEKKID JACK/IANTO TIME!

OMG IANTO WAS ENTIRETLY TOO SEXY FOR WORDS WITH HIS HAND BELOW THE SCREEN HI LET'S IMAGINE WHAT HE WAS DOING FOR A SECOND.

AND OMG GARETH'S CHEST HAIRS, GARETH'S NAKED BACK, (APPARENTLY GARETH'S BIRTHMARK THAT I COMPLETELY MISSED?), GARETH'S PRETTY PRETTY SMILE. Once again, let me just say: OMG GARETH DAVID-LLOYD SIGN MY KNICKERS!!

Also, I love love how he was only vaguely flustered when Gwen walked in and then went into flirty "He always cheats" mode. And stood around doing up his shirt and belt (AND LEFT THE TOP BUTTONS UNDONE OMG HOW SO SEXY) and just in general was like, "Why yes, in case you didn't know, here is why I am totally cool and adventurous enough to shag Captain Jack Harkness on a regular basis." IANTO > THE WORLD, Y/Y? &hearts

Also, oh Jack, "back to work" = take off you shirt? By inference then, "weevil hunting with Ianto" = HAPPY NEKKID ADRENALINE-FUELED PUBLIC SEX TIME! I approve!

ALSO, I bet that right before Gwen's phone call, Jack was all, "Round 2? :D" and Ianto was all, "Sure, let me just go get the...hockey stick! ;)" And then he rushes down and makes himself the perfect cuppa and strokes the expresso machine and reassures it that he still loves her best. And Jack's demanding little 'Ianto's totally just prove his manners in bed are rubbish.

And more! So I think the TWOP person said it came across as Jack and Ianto being off in their own world, and for once I totally agree. I think that Torchwood and the Rift are part of the entirety of their lives in a way that it doesn't for the others. I mean, I think yes Torchwood takes over their lives and they're all obsessed, but I think like Tosh for example, she gets into the mechanics of it, the figuring things out and learning about the technology, or Owen who might be in it for the excitement and the mystery (at least before he died) and for Gwen, it's about saving lives and the good it can do or whatever. But I think only for Jack and Ianto does it give their lives meaning, I think only for them does Torchwood become the purpose of their lives, the harmony that beats across their day-to-day existence.

I think this translate to things like Jack and Ianto are more comfortable around each other and how I think Jack is much more likely to discuss proper Torchwood action with Ianto even though he's usually all "I'm the Decider, my word is final!" (hi Jack, please don't be George Bush, kthx). I mean, we see Ianto hanging out in Jack's office a lot when ostensibly everyone is working, we seeing them in the hub after hours, and I think all the back and forth they have, sort of all the little things like Ianto knowing secrets of Torchwood that no one else knows, Ianto being the one to negotiate with Jack, Owen saying they both have to stop distrusting him, Jack noting that Ianto agreeing with Owen, Jack's little "Don't you think?" in his email to Ianto, Jack saying he's in trouble with Ianto and how he should have told Ianto about going after the second glove but Ianto would have stopped him (from the Captain's Blog which, irregardless of whether it's official canon or not, helps with characterization I think), all these things add up to me to a Ianto who is much more involved in the decision making process of Torchwood and Jack than the others. Your canon may vary.

And I love how in the end, Ianto still does what he thinks is right. I mean, I think he sees Jack make a decision that he doesn't necessarily agree with, he talks to Jack without making it a big confrontation, he doesn't change Jack's mind and he understands that, he doesn't belabour it and try to forcibly assert his will, he moves on. BUT, he also comes back and gives Gwen the information and opens up a new possibility. I mean, I think that's why I am so absolutely in love with Ianto: he does what he thinks is right without making a big point about how he's right, he knows better, you should listen to him. I think he feels for Gwen and all of the missing people's families, but I think he also realizes that probably nothing can be done. So I think he gives her the information to give her the chance to help them, but I think it's also partially a way to allow Gwen to understand that isn't Jack's "I said no, drop it" approach.

I mean, I think Ianto's someone who'll tell you what he thinks but isn't out to pick a fight. He'll drop it if you say "no more", but that doesn't mean he'll agree with you. He let's people make their own decisions, but that doesn't stop him from making his own. And if he thinks you're absolutely wrong, he'll do what he can to stop you.

So I think my Ianto, the Ianto that I love, is basically how I like human beings to act, and I think this episode captures it perfectly.

But I think this episode also shows everything I feel about Gwen as well. I mean, on the one hand, there's everything I really, really dislike about Gwen: her treating someone who cares about her rather badly (seriously, wtf was up with her interaction with Andy?), understanding Rhys' frustrations with her but failing to rectify this in any significant way, acting really patronizing for someone who doesn't really bring anything special to Torchwood except apparently her ability to sympathize (see her behaviour towards Tosh and P.C. Andy), her demanding that Torchwood change to her definition of what it should do ("We help the survivors," um what? how?), her just sort of being very adamant that she's right and arguing with Jack about it ad nauseum even when it's clear that Jack's not changing his mind, and OMG INTERRUPTING THE HOT NEKKID JACK/IANTO SEX (and I mean, I thought of her as annoying there only in the sense of an analogy to the Jack/Gwen in general disrupting the happy Jack and Ianto show).

On the other hand, I thought she was really adorable when she was flirting with Rhys in the beginning (OMG the "I am a sexy woman" scene: &hearts so much!), I love how she cannot stop laughing at walking in on Jack and Ianto, I do feel like she genuinely wants to help people, I did really feel for her in wanting to be able to help in some way and wanting to do something when it seems like there is nothing they can do, and I feel really bad for her that the logistics of being in relationship and being a part of Torchwood are so divergent.

Personally, I can't like Gwen because a lot of what she does and who she is just really disgust me, but I don't really hate her either because she has her cute moments and because I do see where she's coming from. I think all the things that annoy me about her are just a part of who she is and how she knows to act, and looking on from an outside perspective, it's a lot easier to criticise that if I were in her shoes. But mostly, she's just someone who's on screen and talking and emoting a lot while I'm really just kind of watching Gareth's pretty face in the background. :)

(Gakloy, feel free to do up your trousers in public any day! ;))

Also, I just spent way too much time figuring out the details of the layout of the Hub and how it's changed since series one. Like how the old conference room is now the greenhouse and Gwen's old desk area is now the coffee station. OH SHOW! &hearts

ETA: fodian has good eyes!

(Cap altered so I could really enjoy Gareth's birthmark! &hearts)

Hai!

wine.godof@gmail.com — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 01:29:43 GMT

I have been spending waaaaay too much time in photoshop lately and since I feel slightly (very slightly) dumb for having only Ianto/Gareth icons, I'm just going to post them instead. Yay!

8 total: 2 Jack, 2 Jack/Ianto, 3 Ianto, 1 Gareth

01	02	03	04

05	06	07	08

Credits:
Screencaps were my own, from ianto_daily and marishna. Picture of Gareth by Ulla Inkeri Huhta.

No rules! Credit if you like, don't if you don't. Modify at will! (If you want particular text added or whatever, I can do that as well.) I am, how they say, very easy. :D

From Gareth's face! (If Torchwood titles make no sense, why should mine?)

wine.godof@gmail.com — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 16:24:50 GMT

Whoever thought it would be a cool idea to hand code their custom CSS instead of using the million and one pretty, already created layouts out there clearly needs to be shoot in the head. Especially if they don't, you know, know anything about CSS.

I swear, I was up till six in the morning trying to figure out what all their little parameters mean. This reminds me that I will never, ever change my layout again.

But at least I have Gareth's pretty face! And finally, no more Fight Club theme! I am Jack no more!

*

Speaking of Gareth a.k.a. Ianto a.k.a. the only thing I talk about: I continue being contrary to the rest of my flist and actually liked "From Out of the Rain". Oh show, I don't require much from you besides seeing Ianto's face every five seconds and not making me want to slap half the main characters!

So let's admit up front, the "plot" was shall we say: bad. Like made no sense. Who are the night traverlers? Circus people who only perform at night and come 'out of the rain' to steal people's last breathes. And that is seriously all we know of them.

But we do know that film, it replaced the traveling show! We are told this a lot. A LOT. I think there was suppose to be a metaphor in there somewhere about how everything's ephemeral and soon there will be nothing left of their team but memories and pictures and Jack will be sad sad sad. At least I am guessing. Or the writer just has a thing for traveling shows?

And I'm also very seriously entertaining the possibility the Jack and Ianto very recently had a massive sex marathon so that now, even thinking p0rny thoughts make them chafe uncomfortably. How else will you explain the total lack of eye-fucking and general flirting going on while they go around alone together. OMG IT ALMOST REMINDED ME OF JACK AND GWEN'S INTERACTIONS BUT EVEN MORE DRIED OUT WTF SHOW??

But here's what made me enjoy it nonetheless:

Ianto Jones! Every five seconds!
Ianto Jones wet!
Ianto Jones running!
Ianto Jones' high girly emo voice! Resurrected from Cyberwoman. (Oh Gareth, I love how your voice goes up an octave to in the worst "I can do emotional, no really!" voice ever. &hearts It makes me laugh everytime!)
Ianto Jones as the new Gwen! If only because it brought the return of emo!Ianto. (see above) Seriously though, Iants please less Gary Stu in future with your "I could only save one!" and your one perfect tear at the boy the who live, kthxbye.
Ianto Jones' cinema lust!
Ianto Jones' history lust! (Hi, I was almost a History major. Let's do lunch!)
Oh and Gwen's little "So that's what they're calling it now" made me laugh out loud. Because OH SO OBVIOUS and because I was thinking it too. :D

Oh show, even your outrageous badness cannot deter the love even when I had to bring in an industrial jet engine because no amount of handwaving can ever blow away your plot holes. Oh Gareth, sorry your episode kind of sucked a lot, but at least you got to show more of your "secret depths of anguish and darkness" (tm torchwoodcoffee and adopted by Mr. Lloyd). Even if for no particular reason than because nothing else made sense so why should the character's reactions.

I'd leave you with Gareth's pretty face, but he was pretty a lot last night and I actually kind of hate screencapping. BUT TRUST ME IT WAS PRETTY!

ETA: I take it back! I can totally do Gareth's pretty face because this amused me so much! (Sorry, was too lazy to do a timed screencap, but you should totally see this live!)

Look! Ianto! With flowers! (I say they are totally from Jack from after the wedding! :D)

FITZGERALD &hearts HEMINGWAY 4EVA!!123!

wine.godof@gmail.com — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 16:49:09 GMT

Eliot Spitzer makes me sad. I kind of forgot that he was governor, but I liked him a lot of Attorney General.

*

I have spent a lot of time searching for this (and by a lot I mean five minutes in google) so I ask you: WHY IS THERE NO FITZGERALD/HEMINGWAY SLASH?? I mean, we have real life slash plays (plural! although I can't find the link to one that's called something like "Hemingway and Fitzgerald's Big Gay Adventure" -for realz!- and about them in Mexico or something) but no fic? You'd think there would at least be a RP of this out there somewhere, but alas no!

I mean, they have the literary love for each other, the great rivalry, the largely fictionalized ~~gay~~ accounts of their time together written by one about the other, even the jealous psycho wife who accused them of being gay for each other! (Not to mention the analyzed to death was he/wasn't he of whether or not Hemingway was gay.) How is their life not just bad fic right there?

Internets, you fail me!

The Real Torchworld

wine.godof@gmail.com — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 20:24:47 GMT

fodian has been dispensing some wisdom about what's really going on with Torchwood, but I think she's just really off.

I mean clearly Jack, after a year of emotional/physical trauma, finally just wants Ianto to love him and only him, but Ianto can't because he's still pinning for his dead girlfriend, and oh yeah, he was only ever in this for the sex. And Jack's connecting to Gwen because Gwen's getting married and has a monogamous boyfriend who loves her, and he just wants to feel that too damnit! But no, Ianto is always looking at other boys and going, "Hmm threesome?" and telling Jack he can't spend the night because it's still early and Ianto's looking to pull at the local club.

And then Jack cries emo!tears and thinks about cutting himself but doesn't because he has to be strong so Ianto won't think he's a whiney little bitch. And he still flirts with everyone so that he can pretend that he's ok with their open relationship, but it kills him a little every time. I mean, why can't Ianto love him? Why can't Ianto just be satisfied with just him? WHY??

When Jack asks Ianto out on a date, he was saying, "Ianto, I've realized the error of my ways, and I just want you and a real relationship with roses and chocolates and commitment ceremonies!"

Of course, Ianto doesn't want to miss out on the hot! reunion! sex so he doesn't decline, but he also makes it very clear that it's not about Jack and Jack's needs by saying "not in an office." Jack, noting the less than enthusiastic response, quickly moves to change the subject so that Ianto won't leave him completely.

And also, when Jack tries to open up to Ianto in To the Last Man, he thinks that because Ianto answered favourably to his "Will you miss me?" (which he tried to play off as a joke, but he was actually desperately hoping/dreading the response), Ianto's finally ready for something more than just sex. That maybe Ianto is ready to hear his real feelings. And so he tells Ianto how it doesn't matter about all the people he to lose and watch die and how he doesn't belong here at all because it's all worth it because he got to meet Ianto.

Except of course Ianto's not going to have any of this because he only wants Jack for his sexy sexy body and 51st century style, so when Ianto kisses Jack in turn, he was really saying, "STFU bitch! No more emotions! Why do you think I'm still here? Let's move on to the shagging already, seriously!"

And you know how when Owen says "you're shagging Jack," Ianto quickly tells him "It's not like that"? Well, obviously, Ianto's thinking, "Owen's dead now. I've never fucked a dead guy before! I wonder if the lack of body heat will feel nice...Oh noes! Better not let him think Jack and I are exclusive or anything, might ruin my chance for some necrophilia action!"

With the dancing scene in Something Borrowed, Ianto tries to pimp Jack out to secure some loving with the newlyweds which is why he's dj-ing so he can play a secret song as the signal for Jack to make his move. And when Jack dances with Gwen and tells her about how Rhys loves her, he's saying, "Can't you see? What you have is so much better than what I have with a man who can't ever fully commit his love to me. But I love him like Rhys loves you so I will stick with him no matter what." He's practically begging Gwen to help get him out of this emotionally abusive and unsatisfying relationship because what he really wants is something ultra-secure and completely mutually loving and 100% monogamous like her relationship with Rhys! Then, when Ianto cuts in, he's basically telling Jack, "Woah, don't go too far ahead without me!", misinterpreting Jack's plea to Gwen as foreplay. And when they dance, Ianto's really asking, "Did you secure the deal? Foursome tonight, y/y?" and Jack can only gaze longingly at Gwen and Rhys and what he can't have.

Guys, it's just everyone's getting it so wrong! Jack is obviously the victim here, and Ianto's a huge bastard who only cares about sex and feels no love at all for Jack! And Jack is just trying to endure because he's such an emotional cripple and has really self-esteem which he tries to hide by smiling a lot, but inside, he's just a big emo puppy who loves Ianto but who Ianto doesn't love back. :'(

Torchwood, or, I hate Gwen but Ianto can stay.

wine.godof@gmail.com — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 07:35:50 GMT

I have to confess that I did not hate "Something Borrowed*" though I am totally declaring today International Hug Ianto/Slap Jack Day.

I'm sorry, but my first impression of Gwen's friends was totally slutty cheerleader girls. I am horribly judgmental! They grew on me later when they were all, 'Yeah, she was totally cheating on Rhys with that American' and just not at all surprised. Gwen = slut!

It is totally canon for me that Ianto just spends most of his time hanging out in Jack's office now. Seriously, he is always there! Like, I bet he has his own drawer and everything. Here's proof:

Also, the return of the pink!shirt! I approve!

And his 'Jack' when Jack goes 'Ianto' and about to give him directions made me super happy. I'm not sure why. I think it's just because it's very them.

I would just like to say: Ianto, you can be the bride any day!

I bet there is some fanfic out there where Ianto has to pretend to be a woman to foil some horrible alien plot, but of course it just turns Jack on. Here is what Ianto's face looked like when he heard of the scheme:

You know he is totally thinking: Just because I look pretty in pink does not mean I am into drag. Bitch.

I know Jack is a total bastard, and all is not happy and shiny in the land of Jack and Ianto, but there were some Jack and Ianto moments that I did enjoy. Like Jack and Ianto comparing notes on wedding dresses, followed by Ianto talking about his dad the tailor (I have read this fanfic!) and measuring inseams with his eyes. &hearts

This is Ianto's flirting eyebrow:

I really, really like Gareth's eww!face:

So I used to be all *squee* over Ianto helping Jack with his coat, but now, I just want Ianto to say: Get your own coat. And pour me a drink while you're at it. (But it is still a cute scene.)

Dear Gareth, congrats on the driver's license! Too bad you live in England where all the drivers are crazy.

Also, remember my complete love for Gareth's face? It is still alive and kicking.

Seriously, this boy is the king of emotive yet non-exaggerated facial expressions. Me + Gareth's Face = tru luv 4eva!

My favourite scene of the night:

But *gasp*, it has Gwen in it! Yeah, more importantly it has DJ Ianto! Just when you think Ianto cannot get more awesome, he does! I think now we must see the extras video where Ianto totally gets jiggy all around the hub. I cannnot describe my glee! I rewatched this scene a billion times in slow motion just so I can watch blurry Ianto sway with the music! &hearts^1000000

So I know that the context of the Jack and Ianto dancing scene has made it not as romantic as it would otherwise be, but it still makes me smile. A bittersweet smile, but still, smile. And the way Ianto cut in just made me want to hold him close to my bosom and pet his hair.

I really, really love the way that Jack holds Ianto's hand over his chest. (I know he did this with Gwen as well, but let me just enjoy my moment.) And just the way they kind of step into each other and just how well the fit together without the awkwardness of fumbling around for where you put your hands and who's going where and whatnot.

(There is totally a tl;dr segment coming up so feel to skip!)

So my conception of Jack and Jack and Ianto change just about with every episode, and I think that's partly because of the inconsistency of the writing and partly because it's left so vague. I mean, Torchwood has just been so hesitant about committing to them being anything besides flirting/shagging. It's been one step forward, one step back, and I think there's a part of them that wants to be able to keep some sense of romance to the interaction between Jack and Gwen, but here's why I think it doesn't work:

Gwen, who is suppose to be the heart of the team and the sympathetic one and just in general a good person just comes across as a complete bastard. I admit, Eve Whatever looks a lot like my really evil aunt who nobody likes, and her character is exactly the type of character I hate from Buffy to Lana so there was no chance at all that I'd ever like her, but. The problem with her UST for Jack when she is marrying another guy is that it just makes all her previous 'sympathy' for all those aliens/people in need that much more unbelievable. She just acts with so little regard towards the people that she is suppose to care about that it's like when beauty pagent girls say 'Oh woe, the poor starving children of Africa, so terrible!' and it just comes out as really insincere. I mean, when Ianto loses Lisa or Tosh loses Tommy, you feel it. You can see that they really cared about these people, that they did everything they can to keep them safe and happy and they would never so carelessly disregard how people they care about might perceive their actions.

I mean, just all throughout the wedding, it just seemed like Gwen was saying 'Rhys loves me and will always love me no matter what, so therefore I love him because Jack's not willing to commit that much to me.' It was like she was waiting for Jack to step in and declare his undying love or something. In the almost kissing scene, Gwen does not know that that's the shapeshifter, and that she would hold on so tightly to another man when she is about to commit herself to someone else is just unforgivable. I think hooking up with Owen first season is ultimately understandable in light of how her world has changed, but at this point, if at any sign of romantic interest you are going to turn to Jack, then don't marry Rhys. Don't talk about love and honour and forever because you have no idea what that means.

Against this, I think Jack comes out looking like a better person. I mean, I think he definitely does things that tempt to Gwen and is tempted by her, but ultimately, he pushes her towards Rhys. There is no way that Gwen does not know that something is going on with Jack and Ianto, but all her actions completely disregard the fact. I mean, she acts as though the only thing standing between her and Jack's happily ever after is Jack's inability to admit his feelings or whatever, and it's very self-centred and all me me me. I mean, at the very least, Jack says: You're with Rhys, you should be with Rhys, Rhys loves you and you should love him. But it seems at no point does Gwen even consider: Jack's with Ianto, maybe that means a.) he possibly not pining away for me and b.) Ianto would not like it if I keep trying to seduce his whatever.

Like, here's what really bothers me about Jack's "The usual. Pizza. Ianto." line: I think Jack comes off as a complete tool for saying that, but I don't think he meant it in a degrading manner. I think it's like when people boys kid around and they say the absolute dumbest things and you just want to slap them and their response is: I don't understand, why are you offended? I think he was trying to be funny, but it just comes off as a really really jerky thing to say and Ianto could do so so much better and fandom would happily provide him whatever he needs, kthx.

But I think it was really inappropriate that Gwen laughed. I think if Rhys or (if she was dating him) Jack had said that about her, she would have slapped him. I think this is part of her completely just not caring about anyone else, that's it just her and Jack and it's all about their bond and yeah, these other people (like Ianto) are just secondary characters because her next words are: will you miss me? Like here is in-your-face proof that Jack is with someone else and it's still all about her.

And this is where Gwen is just done for me. Sorry, hate to tell you this but Ianto's way prettier and way funnier and oh yeah, way nicer of a person, and it's just the world does not revolve around you. Please understand this.

And really, for me, the real tragedy of Jack and Ianto isn't that they don't love each other or that Jack's can't comimt to one person or whatever, but it's that Jack is always going to be distracted by other people. Ianto is loyal and dedicated and anticipates people's needs and perfect. So perfect that you know he's going to be there for you, supporting you and taking care of you, but he's not going to make a big deal about it. He's not going to push and he's going to give you all the space you need. I think Jack does love Ianto, but he forgets it because there's Gwen who demands attention and in doing so, satisfies his own desire for attention, Gwen whose always fighting with him and challenging him and being whatever 'human' and now Gwen who is also that much more unavailable. And I think for Jack, that's going to capture his imagination and his lust for romance because it's what's begging for his attention.

I think Jack only took notice of Ianto (besides hey! cute teaboy in a suit!) when Ianto said 'no' very clearly by keeping Lisa in the basement. And I think this forced him to reexamine Ianto and really to fall in love with him. And I think he completely takes Ianto for granted as someone who's there, and I think when he died over and over again with the Master, he realized he loved Ianto because there's nothing/no one new to distract, because Ianto wasn't there being so quietly efficient that Jack can forget about him. But coming back from that, he's in the exciting world of Torchwood and Jack's not one to live everyday of his life remembering to appreciate Ianto even if he did tell himself that he would after that year that didn't exist.

I think more than any member of Torchwood, more than Gwen, if Jack were to lose Ianto, he would him the most. I think if Jack was having a bad day, he would Ianto to be there with a cup of coffee and a quiet smile. I think if Jack really wanted to say something, just wanted to talk about what's going on with himself, I think he would tell Ianto. But I don't think Jack thinks about this. I don't think Jack knows what this means. I think Jack will always be distracted by the grand romantic gestures and the loud declarations over the everyday comforts, and that's why I think Jack loves Ianto but he doesn't see Ianto unless Ianto's not there.

As for Ianto, Ianto's perfect so of course he accepts this. He doesn't demand Jack's attention or Jack's love. Because Jack gives him mean and he loves Jack, but he loves Jack as is, and he doesn't need rings or public declarations to know that Jack cares about him. And because he loves Jack, he's even willing to let Jack go because ultimately, he just wants Jack to be happy because that's what makes him happy.

(Seriously, my heart just aches for Ianto because I really feel like he's one of those people who's kind and polite and doesn't ask much from people and is very content with what he has. And that makes me just what to give him as much as possible which is the opposite of Gwen who asks for a lot so it makes me want to take everything away.)

Oh other thoughts: Tosh was really, absurdly cool! Owen as well, and I am all glee that he has Ianto on his side now. Gwen's hair was really pretty and kind of how I want to do mine for my wedding except without the veil and the tiara because both are really tacky. I do want a really nice flowered pinned by my ear though. (Yes, I am a total girl and have planned this out and even though I have problems with the institution of marriage, I totally want a wedding.)

In conclusion, Gareth's pretty face!

*I cannot stop typing borrowed as barrowed. I had to spellcheck it before I realized I was spelling it wrong. I think John would be proud.

A bit of politics, but mostly, I &hearts Jack:

wine.godof@gmail.com — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 17:14:20 GMT

I am not a citizen of the U.S. so I can't vote or anything, but I do live here permanently so this is why I just want to get my thoughts out there.

So, like I said before, I am ostensibly supporting Clinton here but that's born out of nostalgia for the Bill Clinton years more than anything. I honestly think her and Obama's positions are much closer than either of them will admit, though politically, I possibly stand behind Obama more but that is up for debate.

And whilst this is primary season still for Democrats in a still open race, I am much more interested in the Which Candidate Can Go All The Way? question of politics than who stands for what right now. Hey, I've always wanted to be a campaign manager, not a candidate so take that as you will.

But, I am Very Very impressed with Obama's ability to generate mass excitement for his campaign and for his apparent attitude of change. I think there's much more passion and belief and a greater desire for him to win than amongst Clinton supporters in which this is still politics versus The Future of America/the World. (<--My opinion only.) And it is very possibly this fervor that can get people out to the voting booths in November because as we all know, races are ultimately decided by which party can mobilize the most votes. And if the Obama machine can generate this much popular frenzy, he might have a better chance.

On the other hand, Clinton is winning the big states, of particular significance because this is a Demorcratic race, and Democrats have traditionally gotten their electoral votes by carrying the big states versus more little ones. And, I know Ohio (and Flordia? or is this just the Gore thing?) has always been contentious in which way it'll go in close elections, and Clinton won that, so. Is Clinton then better suited to be the Democratic candidate if she has the ability to pull weight in the areas that matter versus losing in states that will probably go Republican anyway? (I don't actually know if this is true. I'm not exactly sure about the breakdown of state allegiances now because I don't follow politics very closely, but New York/California (and now Texas though that usually goes Republican) thing has gotten me curious.)

Moreover, because the Democrats are just that unwilling to give us an answer, the primary delegates in the states are split according to whose won what district I believe. Which means, Obama might have been winning a lot of states, but he didn't win all the delegates. So there's been a lot of public momentum versus overwhelming delegate surge. Which means it's all going to be down to the Superdelegates.

Superdelegates: who you call on when you realize the masses don't really know who they want more? Clinton's got a much longer history amongst the upper echelons of the DNC so not a real surprise that she's getting more pull amongst the Superdelegates. But let's note that the Kennedies are supporting Obama, and Gore is apparently undecided/unannounced. Aren't these people supposed to be part of her cheering squad? I think there's been some talk about the need for senior members (including Gore) to broker peace and just settle already so what is lack of party cohesion going to do here?

Moreover, if the Supers are who's going to decide the race and they decide contrary to the popular/regular delegate vote, what does this say about the Party of the People? It's all about the masses until it's something important? I guess lesson here is: always remember that it's politics, not Who You Think Would Make A Better President.

So in conclusion: THERE IS NO CONCLUSION! The race goes on.

Actually, that is a lot longer that I thought it would be. Skip ahead to Jack!

So BBCAmerica has finally (finally!) updated the Captain's blog for Meat and Adam. Yay! &hearts&hearts&hearts

From Meat:

Staff: Ianto turned into a fighting, kicking, stun-gun machine, it was very exciting. I must get put in danger more often.

I think all of fandom agrees with Jack very heartily on this matter and has the icons to prove it. Now whenever I see Jack seeing Ianto holding a gun, I am going to mentally add that he ~~not so~~ subtlety adjusts his pants.

(Also, Captain's blog writer, I am glad that you are drooling over Gareth's 'I will fuck you up, bitch!' face as much as the rest of us! Yay! &hearts)

Aside from that, this is possibly my favouritest line ever:

Security: Ah, security. We laugh at the word.

Seriously. Seriously. Torchwood: Worst. Secret. Agency. EVER! I think when little old ladies know about you, you're basically screwed about the Top Sekrit part. Glad you realize it though.

Other Staff issues: For future reference - do not sneak up on Tosh wearing a clown mask, for a laugh. She does NOT find this amusing.

Who really really wants to see that scene in the DVD extras?

From Adam:

Staff: Someone sent Toshiko a huge bunch of flowers. Nobody’s admitting to it, but we’re all convinced it was Owen - he protests too much. I never get flowers. I’m considering sending myself some, and pretending I don’t know who they’re from.

OMG IANTS GO SEND YOUR ~~GIRL~~BOYFRIEND SOME FLOWERS LIKE NOW!

Now, I kind of want to see Jack demanding Ianto take him out on a proper date and treating him like a gentleman should. WHAT, I READ A LOT OF FANFIC!

Other security issues: The only thing out of place was Ianto’s diary, which I found in my office. Naturally, I gave it back to him immediately after reading through it. Several interesting factual errors in there - and I thought he would know how to convert inches to centimetres. You think you know someone...

I love love that Jack just tacks on the 'reading through it' part like 'Don't worry, of course I gave it back to him. What? Haha, you actually questioned whether I would read it first? That's really funny. No that's really really funny. Where did you come up with that one?'

Oh tape measure. Don't you miss the good old days when it was still like 'Here's a stopwatch, now use your imagination! *wink wink*' and fandom went STOPWATCH SEX = WHA??? and then wrote porny fanfic about how STOPWATCH SEX = YES!!! All I can come up with tape measure seems too obvious.

Also, BBC's Torchwood site said Jack told Ianto to leave well enough alone about the missing two days and random bits of Adam info that pops up, but the Captain's Blog says they'll keep investigating, and it would be really frustrating to not know what happened. Hi, do you guys read each other's sites? Please start doing that now. You can compare your favourite ways of inserting Jack and Ianto innuendo in your sites!

In conclusion: Jack = &hearts!

*I know, I can't believe I used Fall-Out Boy either. In my defense, it is a very catchy chorus.

My tv boyfriend can kick your tv boyfriend's arse!

wine.godof@gmail.com — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 05:27:29 GMT

And he will look dapper doing it too!

Or, I know this episode was about Owen but of course I am in love with Ianto.

So, I think I would have really liked this episode if I just cared more about Owen, but I don't. And I got all unhappily confused when Gwen was in charge because I hate her. And because Jack was right there. (Is he being punished for the ~~ridiculousness~~ dumbness of bringing Owen back? If so, please don't punish the loyal viewers as well, kthx.)

Firstly, I would just like to say that I love love Ianto in his red satin tie. It is my favourite! I've been stalking it madly since episode one!

And um, making Owen the new teaboy was a bit random. But any excuse for silliness (and not silliness) is fine with me! Even if Jack is encroaching upon Ianto's territory.

Ianto, clearly not amused (OMG GARETH, BEST FACE EVER):

I know this is a total fandom cliché, but Ianto + coffee really is my OTP!

It makes me sad that Owen abuses Ianto's machine (hehe)! But Ianto was there and full of win with total nice but not overly emotional sympathy. That's ok, he and Owen are not bffs, and he's, luckily, not Gwen.

And he makes cute faces (OMG AGAIN, GARETH = &hearts)!

You know, it's interesting that Ianto's "It's not like that, me and Jack," comes after Owen accuses them of shagging and not actually dating, being in a relationship, having a commitment ceremony in the fall, is October good with everyone? I mean, he's clearly ok with implying all kinds of things about his and Jack's sex life so why protest before Owen's gotten further than saying basically what he said last season?

But with that said, this is Torchwood and this is Jack and these are Torchwood people. I think Jack and Ianto can declare their undying love for each other and move in together and enjoy mpreg and it'll still not be like that. Torchwood completely obliterates any like that relationships. I mean, even Gwen and Rhys, who are basically the committed couple in no way really have that. Gwen's not there (hi, last season's Owen and this season's Jack). So yeah, at least I still have fanfic, right?

But right, back to the picspam! Owen the teaboy is Very Cute (but this could possibly be because I have a thing for teaboys; Owen, on the other hand, was once compared to a rodent, so.)

I don't know much about Tintin (I can't remember if it's a French thing or the creator person worked on The Fifth Element, but I think one of the above is true), but I love Ianto's traumatized by Owen face:

Clearly, the real OTP here is me + Gareth's face!

Um, I didn't really pay that much attention to the rest of the episode (sorry Owen, I lack what they call 'giving a shit' about you), but I thought the Tosh/Owen was both painfully awkward and very sweet.

And, as always, I leave you with Gareth's pretty (but worried!) face:

So, is the Three in the BBC Three logo pretty and pink to a: better match Ianto's new magenta shirt, b: better match John Barrowman's personality, or c: all of the above?

I want to work for Torchwood when I grow up!

wine.godof@gmail.com — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 22:55:53 GMT

Firstly, HAPPY IANTODAY (tm slodwick!)

Secondly, dear BBC, thank you for loving Americans after all and not locking up your site like I thought. You were just being crafty by giving me weird rights protection messages, but I have figured you out.

Plus you give me this:

From: Jones, Ianto
To: Jack
Subject: Re: Hotel
Date: Wednesday 27th February 2008

Funny, I was just thinking 'Why don't those two get a room'...

Only kidding. In fact, it's already done. You underestimate me, as ever. Incidentally, I think you could probably do with some R&R yourself. Let me know if you'd like my hands to work their magic, or if you'd just like a massage.

Ianto

> Could you call Martha's hotel and book her in for a couple extra
> nights? I have a feeling we're going to need her a little longer, don't
> you?

Can we all please have a go at Ianto's 'magical hands' please? Pretty please??

In conclusion: BBC site admin are full of win!

ETA:

From Tosh's report on the Risen Mitten:

Addendum by Jones, I: Sorry, did nobody pick up on my comment about gloves coming in pairs? I made it to at least two of you. It’s not rocket science.

I heart Ianto so much!